The Lord of the Rings Reborn!
by calico-tabby
Summary: What happens when a few weird girls get swept into LOTR? Written by EMily & me
1. The Dire problems

*** Ok. Reminder, this is not J.R.R. Tolkien's true work. It's just a rendition of his stuff. They are his characters (except for a few) and so, he takes credit- although they probably sound really out of character. Enjoy! Oh! Review, if you want, but I doubt it...****  
  
THE BEGINNING  
  
"Well, Aragorn, you realize I am going to do everything in my power to keep you from marrying my daughter."  
  
Elrond stood facing Aragorn with an unnervingly smug smile on his face. Aragorn could tell that the elf-lord had something up his sleeve, or he wouldn't be grinning like a shark.  
  
"You cannot separate us, there is nothing you can do to drive us apart", Aragorn replied boldly, though he felt rather uneasy.  
  
"Oh, I think I've found a way," said the elf, "Four of them to be exact." Grinning more broadly than ever, Elrond turned to the doorway and called to a servant, "Bring those young oddities to me." The servant left and returned several minutes later followed by four of the strangest looking girls Aragorn had ever seen.  
  
The first in line had wavy brown hair that fell to her waist, bangs down to her chin, flashing green-blue eyes, and a wide smile. She wore a checkered flannel shirt, green pants, and black running shoes. She was closely pursued by a shorter girl with bushy brown hair and grayed blue eyes with an almost maniacal glint. She wore a T-shirt with a picture of a dragon on the front, and was grinning almost victoriously. The third girl wore a big blue t-shirt, midnight electric blue rolled up pants, blue stockings with white stars, and blue canvas shoes and was of medium height, had very short brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, a stubborn chin, and seemed to be far more interested in the mural on the opposite wall than watching where she was going. Consequently, she tripped over a table leg and had to be helped to her feet by the fourth girl—a short, dark-haired, dark-eyed, girl who had the darkest skin Aragorn had ever seen. She wore a long sleeve black shirt, a pair of comfortable jeans and a pair of black leather heeled boots.  
  
"Good afternoon young ladies," Elrond greeted them, "I was just telling my friend here about you."  
  
Immediately, there was a squeal of delight from the females as the dark- haired one shouted "Look! It's him!" and was chorused with a "CHHAAAA!!!" from the one with the dragon shirt.  
  
Aragorn, speechless upon the sight of the girls, could still not quite remove his eyes from them. These girls (Aragorn thought the eldest couldn't be more than 16) were so... so... Alien.  
  
"I'm sorry girls," began Elrond, "but I can't seem to recall your names. If you would be so kind...?"  
  
The long-haired girl went first.  
  
"My name is Laura-Mae, but you may call me whatever you want." Then the second girl spoke.  
  
"I'm Renee, but Lady Spoon and Sheep are ok." The third girl stated flatly:  
  
"Well, my name is Emily or Pam, or Claire, or Robin, but you can make something up if you don't like any of those." The fourth girl stared at the other three almost expectantly, then muttered:  
  
"Gurpreet, Giblet, or Guppy."  
  
Aragorn glared at Elrond; he had a pretty good idea of what was coming. The elf leaned over and whispered to Aragorn in Elvish- "Just to complicate you life further, these four delinquents will be accompanying you."  
  
As the elf leaned away, smirking to himself, Aragorn swore bitterly under his breath. He didn't think the rest of the company was going to like this.  
  
Was he ever right. Gimli looked disgusted when Aragorn told them of the additions, and soon everyone was unhappy. Between Boromir's constant complaining, and the hobbit's plots on how to annoy the heck out of the girls, Aragorn couldn't tell which was worse. Even the normally stoic elf failed to hide his malcontent.  
  
When the company's journey began, nobody spoke, they just stole curious looks at the four strangers. Legolas soon decided to attempt conversation.  
  
"From whence did you come?" he asked calmly.  
  
"We're from Canada, eh!", shouted a grinning Renee.  
  
"Where is that?" he asked once again.  
  
"North of the United States."  
  
"Where is that?"  
  
"North of Mexico."  
  
"Where is that?"  
  
"West of Africa."  
  
"Where is that?"  
  
"South of Europe."  
  
"Where is that?"  
  
"West of China."  
  
"Where is that?"  
  
"South-East of Russia"  
  
Legolas gave up soon after that. After several hours of quiet marching, though there were the few moments that made the males uncomfortable when the girl's spoke of bathrooms, he tried again.  
  
"How did you come to Middle-Earth?" he asked cautiously, knowing what to expect this time.  
This time, Emily answered.  
  
"Word of advice for you; Bed sheets are not for parachutes."  
  
"Well, if you hadn't flooded the pool..." began Laura-Mae.  
  
"That wasn't my fault," countered Emily.  
  
"Sure it wasn't," vouched Giblet, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"You're all just jealous because I accomplish so much more than you do," stated Emily flatly. Renee tilted her head, deciding after a moment to put in her two cents worth.  
  
"Baa?"  
  
This started an Argument between the girls. The original members of the fellowship edged away from them as they fought, halfway between afraid and just plain freaked out. Finally, Gandalf got sick of their quarrelling and told them all to shut up (of course, being a wizard, he worded it more eloquently than that...), and none of them thought it wise to disobey the wizard. After all, his staff likely made a pretty good head pounding stick.  
  
The first part of the journey was uneventful, save for the times when the one referred to as Renee would scream "What do you do with a drunken sailor?!" and the other strangers would break into chorus, always finishing with some strange dance they called the 'Time Warp.' There was also the fact that Laura-Mae was forced to wear a pair of Boromir's clothing as she fell into the mud and had stupidly forgotten to pack the extra pair that Elrond had given her. Of course, there was the time that Legolas slipped on some moss and fell onto Emily. Perhaps it was his clumsiness, or perhaps it was the fact that Giblet had eagerly shoved him out of her path between her and Merry, who was carefully sneaking into his pack for food.  
  
"Nice job," Emily had said, "like dropping a damn piano!"  
  
"What is a piano?" Legolas had asked, and quickly regretted mentioning it.  
  
The company soon discovered that these girls swore. A lot. Emily in particular seemed to have a larger variety of cuss-words and lewd expressions than the elves had songs and poems. This seemed to cause Legolas much distress as elves by nature were very conservative. Eventually, the company got used to it though, even the elf learned to tune out. That is of course, until he tried to put himself on the same level as Emily when she was teasing him about his apparent conservativeness.  
  
What happened was Legolas decided to repeat the phrase "Suck my dick" which he had heard earlier that day from Giblet, and Emily proceeded to tell him to "Drop his pants", to which, he'd blushed tomato red right to the roots of his golden hair.  
  
All in all, Emily seemed to be really getting to the elf. Aragorn knew for a fact that the rest of the company had bets that the elf would snap within the week. The girls, however, insisted that Emily would try to put Legolas through as much hell as possible before she let him have a nervous breakdown.  
  
After a few weeks of hiking, endless songs, and cruel intentions, it became apparent that Legolas wasn't the only original company member teetering on the edge of insanity. Laura-Mae was greatly enjoying a set of twisted mind games she was putting Boromir through. She would take things of his and just when he swore he couldn't find them, Laura-Mae would return the items and Boromir would find them just where he'd left them. She also subjected him to hard to follow conversations, filled with sexual innuendos and perverted riddles.  
  
Yep, Boromir was in rough shape all right, but nowhere near as rough as Legolas. Soon came something that made Gandalf's job even more difficult. It came in the form of a young girl, with black hair and a purple knitting bag (named Sven) on the back of a merchant's cart.  
  
The company was sitting beside the road when a small vendor's cart appeared, pulled by 2 mules. The Merchant seemed to be selling an assortment of rubber ducks in florescent colors, as well as in black. Not only that, but he seemed to be selling water balloon condoms. The girls laughed when they saw the blank looks on the fellowship's faces as the group regarded the condoms with wonderment. The girl sitting on the tailgate began waving avidly and the four oddities, staring at her, waved back. The merchant noticed this exchange of greetings and offered to sell her.  
  
"That won't be necessary," said Laura-Mae, "She's one of us".  
  
Giblet, turning her attention from the conversation with Merry, spoke next.  
  
"Yeah," she said, "This is Laura."  
  
Aragorn, turning from Laura-Mae to the new Laura, looked confused.  
  
"You are both named Laura? Really now."  
  
"We are both Laura, and Laura-Mae," said the girl with the bag named Sven.  
  
Silence fell upon him as he and Gandalf surveyed the scene. Boromir was having another conversation with Laura-Mae, Emily was standing in front of Legolas (so close that their chests almost touched) wearing an angelic smile while the elf's face sport a look of being badly shaken. Giblet was having a thumb-war with Merry and Renee, handcuffed to Pippin as part of something she'd called a "social science experiment", quickly yelled "Sephiroth!" and made Pip plug his ears. And to top it all off, now Laura was speaking to Frodo with a strange glint in her eye. Gandalf crossed to Aragorn and muttered "Lord Elrond must really hate your guts."  
  
"He must", agreed Aragorn. Gandalf secretly thought that if the elf-lord wanted to make the man's life a hell, he might've at least waited until only Aragorn would suffer.  
  
The original company's morale went steadily downhill after that. Boromir was soon trying to find hidden meanings in everything said, and Legolas jumped at any small noise that was created. The girls found this amusing and created their own noises until they became aware that he was on the verge of tears (Can you say "Extreme Breakdown ahead?").  
  
Giblet could now outtalk any of the hobbits, when Renee started singing or tried to put her headphones on him, Pippin would start bawling and it would take half an hour to calm him down. The only two people that seemed in good spirits were Laura and Frodo. They would go off for hours at a time during resting time and on many occasions, were adjusting their clothing when they returned. (Think Sam was jealous? Oh yeah...)  
  
It was soon after this that a bunch of evil crows flew overhead and Gandalf said that they'd have to go over the mountain because Sauron would know where they were now. Of course, it didn't help matters that Giblet had chased the birds screaming "Here Birdie birdie, here birdie birdie!" at the top of her lungs. 


	2. The Dire problems corrupted

*** Ok. Reminder, this is not J.R.R. Tolkien's true work. It's just a rendition of his stuff. They are his characters (except for a few) and so, he takes credit- although they probably sound really out of character. Enjoy! Oh! Review, if you want, but I doubt it...****  
  
INTRO- PART 2 Though the rest of the girls argued with Aragorn on the issue of climbing the mountain, Renee sat by doing nothing. They argued that they would leave the group, and find their own way around the mountain ( they knew the pointlessness of climbing, and decided that they didn't want to do it.) But, Aragorn, being a man of his word (which he'd given to Elrond about not abandoning the females), would not permit such a thing. Renee, deciding that it was time, cut the argument short by declaring that the girls would climb the mountain, all the while saying this with that maniacal glint in her eyes.  
  
Climbing their way up the Caradhras was exhausting, and yet, Gandalf seemed to be enjoying it. Perhaps it was the fact that Laura was continuously making Frodo forget the ring at times and allowing his young hobbit friend to be relieved of the burden in which he carried for a few stolen moments, or perhaps it was the fact that Giblet seemed to make good company for himself. She was small (almost as small as a hobbit) and he offered her piggyback rides at times in exchange for a hidden philosophy, in which it was usually about Human Nature, or that Jesus was like Elvis.  
  
"Elvis is Elvis, but Jesus is Santa Claus", she made a point of saying.  
  
They argued and agreed, and eventually were told to be quiet as they might cause an avalanche when they laughed hysterically as they did.  
  
They trudged through snow and hail, conversation becoming less and less, and people were fighting for breath in the sleet.  
  
The company gave looks of laughter at the girls when the group called for a rest to hunt through their packs for their winter jackets. Emily pulled out a Hudson's Bay jacket, Laura pulled out a black stylish jacket with a wool knit scarf, Giblet and Renee pulled out blue and black bubble jackets, and Laura-Mae pulled out a beige sweater, and a thinner black jacket than that of Laura's.  
  
Pippin could be heard saying "What are those? Snowmen's outfits?", while Gimli calmly joked about seeing whether the girls could actually be warm in such outfits.  
  
The males soon realized that the girls were much warmer than they themselves were.  
  
They didn't shiver, and they had gloves. In fact, they even had extra gloves, although only the hobbits took the offer when they were offered. The girls had all watched the incident with Boromir and the ring from when Frodo had rolled down the hill, in the snow, and they had watched how Aragorn had fingered the helm of his broad sword. They had all looked to each other in unspoken agreement that they remember this from the movie...  
  
After all the hobbits were picked up for piggyback rides by Aragorn, Boromir, Laura and Laura-Mae for the fourth time, they reached a ridge, to which the sleet was so strong that the girls clung to the rock wall on the one side as though clinging for dear life.  
  
Suddenly, there came a cry. Legolas quickly called to Gandalf that there was a faint voice in the air, in the winds that surrounded them.  
  
"It is Saruman! He's trying to bring down the mountain!" yelled Gandalf.  
  
"No!" yelled Legolas, "It is a female voice!"  
  
"It's Saruman!" argued Pippin, for he knew that Gandalf was seldom wrong.  
  
"No!" said a voice, clear through the wind, this time from a dark shadow of a figure clearly outlined in the storm. The figure was a woman, though she was dressed in a maiden's outfit, enclosed in a thick hooded cloak.  
  
"Who's there?" demanded Aragorn as he quickly drew his sword in time to Legolas' bow being strung.  
  
"My name is Christina."  
  
"SHOW YOURSELF!" requested Gandalf.  
  
The figure lowered her hood. For the first time since the beginning of the journey, all five girls gasped.  
  
"CHRISTINA!" was the mutterings of shock of Laura, Giblet, Renee, Emily and Laura-Mae.  
  
"You know her?" asked the stressed Aragorn, while replacing his sword. Legolas still hadn't moved from the position of being able to shoot the newcomer.  
  
A cloud of sighs escaped the girls. "Yes" came Giblet's reply from Gandalf's back.  
  
The female figure came closer, as though the gale were pushing her from behind. She had Strawberry blond hair to her shoulders, spectacle upon her nose, a red maiden's outfit, an entranced glare, and teeth large enough to resemble fangs.  
  
The sighs came again as Emily quickly muttered to Renee "She had better not touch my elf" to which Renee simply rolled her eyes.  
  
"I know what it is you are going to ask me...", began Christina, her voice hollow as though entranced.  
  
"We weren't going to ask you anything! Well... maybe we were going to ask you how you got here... but that's not what we were going to ask!" said a very garbled Giblet.  
  
Gandalf and the company turned to her and looked at her quizzically and she blushed.  
  
"I have always been here. I was in both dimensions, always have been. I see what goes on here, and what goes on where you live," came the cryptic reply.  
  
The girls gaped at her. Then, to everyone's astonishment, Renee ran forward and shook the girl.  
  
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!!!!" she screamed. "All this time and I could have had my questions answered about hobbits! THROUGH YOU!"  
  
"Would you have believed me if I had told you?" asked Christina.  
  
"HELL YEAH!" was Renee's reply.  
  
Suddenly, there was a cracking sound and the snow bank above them shifted.  
  
"Now that's Saruman!" yelled Gandalf.  
  
The cracking noise repeated itself and soon all the company was thrown into the wall of rock and were immersed in snow. Almost everyone popped out like daisies, and began to dig themselves out. Boromir dug into the snow and quickly pulled out the frozen Frodo with Sam clinging to Frodo's leg.  
  
They finished digging themselves out and quickly started arguing the safest route to take if they were not able to take the pass of the Caradhras. They soon turned to Frodo and told him that the "ring-bearer" must decide. Laura quickly looked at Frodo and muttered darkly about Gandalf putting too much weight on Frodo's shoulders.  
  
While the men argued and argued, the girls slipped away to return down the way they came. The men soon followed, feeling that they had decided the path, and quickly caught up to the females. Christina, walking at a medium speed, told the other girls that as she got to the bottom, she would leave them, and go to her home in Middle-Earth. The girls, feeling that they shouldn't interfere between the two dimensions, agreed cautiously, wondering what would happen if they brought her back with them –whenever that would be.  
  
After a while, silence fell on the company, save for Laura who was muttering as many curses as she could think of to Frodo about Gandalf. The girls were all quite happy when they had to turn back because running shoes don't keep water and ice out very well. On the way down, Laura said "Well, I expected worse from the avalanche.  
  
"How did you know that there would be an avalanche?" asked Aragorn.  
  
"We saw the movie, Dummy", said Renee.  
  
"What is a movie?" asked the inquisitive elf.  
  
Emily whirled around and shouted at the nervous elf:  
  
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP, ELF!"  
  
Legolas trembled and stumbled backwards stuttering "I'm sorry. Don't hurt me. Don't touch me!"  
  
At this moment, the grinning Renee lunged forward at Boromir and grabbed his shield. The belt, holding it round Boromir's shoulder, came undone and flung around, hitting Aragorn squarely in the forehead. Renee took no heed of this and quickly ran with the shield, which just happened to be the perfect size of a toboggan. She ran and jumped onto the shield, swirling down the hill of snow, oblivious to the angry shouts coming from above.  
  
The group of girls laughed heartily and Gimli and Legolas smirked at each other. Just as Legolas walked by, Gandalf could be heard saying "It's about time something worthwhile happened around here" to Giblet. This comment, making the girls laugh even more so, caused Aragorn to curse.  
  
Renee sat waiting patiently at the bottom as Pippin came down and grabbed the shield, racing for the top again, while dodging the clawing arms of Boromir, determined to get his shield back. A moment later, as the company continued the venture down the hill, Pippin and Merry were yelling shrilly as they flew down the hill atop the shield, knocking Laura-Mae and Giblet down, causing them to roll and topple any obstacles in the way, which just happened to be Emily, Legolas and Gimli.  
  
After that incident, the company grew quiet. There was not a sound to be heard as they approached the mines of Moria. It was night when they arrived and everyone was weary. Gandalf found the entrance and the girls huddled as close to the entrance as possible.  
  
They knew the riddle, they knew what was lurking in the water, and yet they did nothing. Earlier, they had all agreed to let the story flow along as though none of them existed, for they didn't want to change the course of history in Middle-Earth.  
  
Finally, after Bill the pony was set free, and Merry had solved the riddle and the doors had opened, the girls almost charged into the Mines, afraid of the shadow in the water.  
  
The whole problem with the kraken beast quickly occurred and the girls hid in the entrance. They watched as Legolas shot the beast and Aragorn caught Frodo. Laura stood screaming about her "poor Frodo", and the rest of the girls quickly made fun of her. They moved slowly away from the entrance and allowed themselves to be pushed away as the beast crumbled the archway. Then complete darkness enveloped them.  
  
Gandalf lit his staff, and they all began their journey into the darkness. 


	3. Moria Dark and mazy

*** Ok. Reminder, this is not J.R.R. Tolkien's true work. It's just a rendition of his stuff. They are his characters (except for a few) and so, he takes credit- although they probably sound really out of character. Enjoy! Oh! Review, if you want, but I doubt it...****  
  
Marching precariously close to Gandalf, the company soon found themselves dwelling into the deep secrets of the mines of Moria. With everyone on their guard, Laura found it damn near impossible to distract Frodo when they paused to rest. After the sixth fevered attempt failed, she gave a cry of anguish, startling the group into glaring stares as her voice ricocheted off all the surrounding walls, echoing into the dark distance.  
  
Frodo sat, as far away from the girls as possible, staring into the bleak menace of the mines, wishing he had never gone to the pub and gotten drunk the night that Gandalf came to tell him to go. If he hadn't of been so drunk, he wouldn't have told Sam he was a virgin, or that he would take the ring to the Prancing Pony. He immediately felt guilty because he knew that even with these strange new additions, the fellowship was trying to help him.  
  
In the end, he sat arguing with himself whether Aragorn was his friend, or whether Aragorn thought him more than friend. He shuddered at the thought and decided that he'd much rather think of Sam, who seemed to be very upset by his instantaneous friendship with Laura.  
  
Peering into the shadows near the base of the cliff, he saw something crawling and he immediately went to Gandalf to relay the news.  
  
Meanwhile, Merry sat uncomfortably next to Emily who was humming something endlessly under her breath while staring menacingly in Legolas' direction. Merry quickly diverted his eyes to Pippin, who sat tiredly beside Renee. He laughed inwardly at the memory of watching Pippin struggle to keep up with the skipping Renee whom had "lost" the key to the handcuffs binding them together. She'd skipped along, humming something called "the song that never ends" and failed to notice when Pippin lost his footing and was being dragged in the mud on the road. Pausing to take a breath, she had finally noticed the difference in resistance on the other end of the cuffs, and peered down at him and announced that "Mud wasn't good for him".  
  
Merry laughed at remembering the fact that Giblet had easily reminded Gandalf that he could break the cuffs hold, and the reply that said "I prefer to watch him struggle. It's more entertaining. Besides, it'll do that took some good". Merry quickly stopped his giggles at the sight of the frown that he received from the Dwarf.  
  
Boromir, sitting as usual next to Laura-Mae, was sitting calmly, whispering his version of how he had met Aragorn in Rivendell. Laura-Mae, though thoroughly interested in the story, sat waiting for the opportunity to ask Boromir if he was gay. Renee, joking with Gimli, Sam and Giblet, sat giving sharp tugs on the cuffs with inexcusable swiftness.  
  
After several moments, there was an "oomph!" as Gandalf got up saying that he knew the way. Everyone packed up, and soon marched off again. The girls however, had decided that things were much too silent and so they began to sing "Time Warp", just to remind them all of their sanity.  
  
After walking through the columns of Moria (to which all the girls amazed the fellowship by saying "Seen it"), they reached the end of the high chapel-like dome.  
  
Suddenly, there was a voice to be heard after a half hours worth of trudging along.  
  
Pausing, the group armed themselves save for the girls, who stood in a circle looking and listening. Huddling together, they whispered quickly, and then looked up. Giblet broke into a grin as a faint "Hey Guys" came within hearing distance. The group of girls quickly pushed past the hobbits and began to wind their way through the tunnels. 


	4. Moria and Jennifer

*** Ok. Reminder, this is not J.R.R. Tolkien's true work. It's just a rendition of his stuff. They are his characters (except for a few) and so, he takes credit- although they probably sound really out of character. Enjoy! Oh! Review, if you want, but I doubt it...****  
  
Pushing past the men, the girls followed the girlish voice that was determined to be saying "Hey Guys!".  
  
They came to an open room with a single ray of light shining down upon a coffin that was centered around several skeletons. The owner of the voice sat brazenly, staring towards the doorway with wide blue eyes as the girls entered. The stranger's hair was reasonably short (but not as short as Emily's) and was dark blond. She wore a gray Cherokee sweater, white pinstriped blue jeans, and blue running shoes. As she gazed at the newcomers, there was a sudden rush of movement and air.  
  
"Jennifer!", came a scream from both Giblet and Laura-Mae.  
  
"GUYS!", came the reply.  
  
Soon all the group arrived and found the girls surrounding the newcomer, eagerly asking questions none of which, the men could comprehend as they were said and answered so fast. Gandalf made a quick murmur to Gimli saying what sounded like "Do they ever shut up?"  
  
As Legolas walked into the room, the dark blond haired female screamed and began to claw through the company to get to him. Being apprehensive due to Emily, Legolas screamed in return and ran for shelter behind Aragorn, who caught the girl and held her.  
  
Jen, enjoying Aragorn restraining her entirely too much, began to feel up his arms. Aragorn gave a yell of humiliation and threw the girl to the floor. He looked towards the company for help and found them snickering at him, including the tormented Legolas.  
  
"Let me guess, another one to add to the fellowship?", he asked both Laura and Renee simultaneously.  
  
Laura turned to Jennifer and said :  
  
"I don't know. Jen, are you coming with us?"  
  
"Is that one coming too?", Jen replied pointing to Legolas, who was now looking panicked even more than what was becoming the usual.  
  
Emily appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Jennifer, whispering darkly "Keep your hands to yourself. He's mine!"  
  
Aragorn, once again resorting to swearing, but this time with a more expanded vocabulary compliments of definitions from Giblet, finally noticed his surroundings and asked Gandalf where they were. Before he could answer, however, Gimli ran towards the coffin and moaned in disbelief as he read the heading. Gandalf walked forward and read to them the inscription- "Here lies Balin, Lord of Moria".  
  
The girls crowded a back wall, resting casually against the cold stones, and talked quietly amongst themselves. They looked up only for a moment when the crashing sound of Pippin knocking the skeleton into the well echoed throughout the tunnels. Although a drum soon sounded, and it was announced that there were orcs about, the girls did not prepare for battle. They still rested casually at the back, lost in conversation, although they now spoke louder to compete with the overpowering sound of drums. Soon the battle began and orcs appeared through the barred doors. Once the orcs got through the door, the rest of the company broke into a full-fledged fight.  
  
The girls looked up once or twice to view the damage but continued the conversation as though nothing was happening. It appeared that Jennifer was a form of shield towards them and both trolls and orcs avoided them at all costs. Soon after what felt like a very short time, there came a shout to leave.  
  
The girls grudgingly marched and ran forwards with the others, although it was only because they knew what was coming. The group only stopped inside the churchlike columns and drew their weapons at what was one of the largest groups of goblins surrounding them. Everyone held their breath as the goblins grew bolder and crept forward baring teeth and weapons in a war- like fashion.  
  
Soon there was a noise, an echoing growl and light of fire gently illuminated the far end of the cathedral-like tunnel. The goblins paused for only a moment, then shrieked and fled as quickly as they arrived. The company of Men, Elf, Dwarf, Wizard, and Hobbits quickly turned to the glowing distance, silently questioning Gandalf as to what could scare away such a group of Goblins.  
  
Gandalf bent his head as if trying to sense what it was. Meanwhile, the girls slowly crept towards the passageway that they knew the group would be taking and listened to Gandalf tell the group loudly to run because it was a Balrog. The girls broke into an all-out run and led the male group into the correct route towards the other exit. They jumped over the air gap on the stairwell and ran the rest of the way to get out of everyone's way.  
  
They stopped and turned and watched Legolas easily jump the gap. Next came Gandalf and then Boromir with Merry and Pippin and then Aragorn shouting "Here comes Sam!" and they watched the flying Sam hurl through the air onto the other edge. They watched as Gimli jumped and was held onto by his beard and the girls laughed. The piece of rock that Frodo and Aragorn remained on cracked and the girls became a cheering section much envied by stadiums back home as their voices echoed everywhere.  
  
"Throw him!", screamed Laura to Aragorn, sounding nervous.  
  
"You'll both get lucky tonight!", screamed Jennifer.  
  
The rock tilted and Frodo and Aragorn fell into the awaiting outstretched arms. The men recomposed themselves and once again followed the girls to the bridge. Once they had safely crossed, the girls once again stopped and turned to watch the rest of the company follow their lead. They watched gravely as Gandalf took on the Balrog single-handedly. Sighing as they watched Frodo and everyone cry over Gandalf as he fell into shadow, the girls ran the stairs, not wanting to be hit by the oncoming arrows of Goblins.  
  
Once everyone was outside, the girls sat on a large rock and spoke quietly, as though to give peace to the company.  
  
Aragorn, though mourning the loss of Gandalf, quickly took charge and urged everyone to ready themselves for travel. After his yelling fits with Boromir and Frodo, he marched over to the 6 girls who sat unspeaking (for once) and surveyed them.  
  
"I ask but one question," he began quietly, " why did you not need to fight back there?"  
  
All eyes turned to Jennifer, for, she was the answer to that riddle. Aragorn particularly threw intense looks at her, as though demanding she answer the question immediately and carefully.  
  
"I... Well... see... I was in the dark... and I ran into a creature. It was big. I mean, I didn't know what it was, but it was tall, and well...", Jen began and trailed off.  
  
"Spit it out!", yelled Giblet. "You're going to eventually tell them anyways."  
  
Jennifer gave a heavy sigh and mumbled :  
  
"I felt up something. I think it was a troll. Or a Goblin. I don't know."  
  
Aragorn and Boromir looked at each other and quickly rolled their eyes as though saying  
  
"What did we do to deserve this?"  
  
Merry nudged Pippin through damp eyes and they both looked at Jen with tear stained faces, a questioning look in their faces.  
  
Jen sighed and looked away from the two hobbits because she thought she knew what was going on in their minds.  
  
Aragorn sighed and decided to change the topic. He ordered them all to get up and began to lead them through the rocky tresses. They traveled awhile, but were so wearied by the loss of Gandalf that they soon stopped in the beginning traces of a forest. They sat around the campfire in silence until Renee and Giblet both screamed out a piercingly high rendition of "Found a Peanut". The other's joined in and soon they had taught the males a few songs such as "the other day" and "Hi, my name is Joe".  
  
All slept poorly that night and it wasn't long before they were moving the next morning.-  
  
Ok... here's where a few things go screwy. The whole Lothlorien scene is not here- except for a small interlude—because we didn't have the time to finish it... so... from here, it will jump to the interlude.... Ok? Kthanksbai! 


	5. Tree or Dare

*** Ok. Reminder, this is not J.R.R. Tolkien's true work. It's just a rendition of his stuff. They are his characters (except for a few) and so, he takes credit- although they probably sound really out of character. Enjoy! Oh! Review, if you want, but I doubt it...**** Reminder- this jumps from Moria, to a scene in Lorien...  
  
Tension released, Aragorn glanced around him calmly. They were in Lothlorian, he said to himself for the 8th time. We've been here for a few days. I can afford to relax. Looking around him, he watched Laura and Frodo listening to Boromir's story about how he and Legolas had met, the fight that had taken place over the rabbit that they had simultaneously shot from different angles, and the fact that by the time they had decided to simply cut it in half, the fur was ruined and Boromir no longer wanted it.  
  
Merry, Pippin, Giblet, and Renee sat on two very flat stones arguing whether the tankards that they all held were truly pint sized. Somehow, Emily, Laura-Mae and Jennifer had disappeared in search of the frantic Legolas, who seemed to be feeling slightly better at being with elves, but still not quite the same as he should be. Gimli sat with Sam and the two were arguing over the issue of Gimli giving ax lessons to Sam, Gimli of course, against it.  
  
"I can't very well go about giving you lessons! You can barely pick an ax up, let alone swing it!", was his argument.  
  
Legolas showed up a moment later, followed by the three girls, two of them holding Emily back.  
  
Aragorn began to think of Arwen and her people, longing to be home, when suddenly, Frodo's hand began flashing in front of his face. Aragorn, thoroughly surprised at this, started and shook his head as though clearing it.  
  
"And what is it I can do for you, Frodo?", he asked bewildered.  
  
"Care to join us?", came the cryptic reply.  
  
"To what is it I am joining?", Aragorn asked grimly, thinking of the last time he'd been asked to join something. He'd ended up setting fire to an elf's fence when he was a child.  
  
"We have begun a game of Truth or dare."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I really don't know. Ask Lady Emily or perhaps Miss Jennifer."  
  
Aragorn looked expectantly at the girls and found them whispering amongst each other.  
  
"Well, back home, we call it truth or dare, but maybe you'd call it something like 'Truths and challenges', or something", came Emily's reply.  
  
Merry stood up at that point, nearly knocking Giblet's tankard into the fire, and yelled:  
  
"I know! She speaks of Truths and Blots!"  
  
Aragorn looked really grim. He nodded that he knew the game and looked at Frodo.  
  
Frodo stared right back and quickly announced that because Aragorn was such a good sport, he could go first.  
  
"Truth or blot?"  
  
"Blot", he said.  
  
Both girls and the hobbits squealed in delight. Aragorn paled.  
  
"Your blot is to...", Frodo began.  
  
"He has to kiss Boromir!", yelled Pippin.  
  
"WHAT?!!!", screamed Boromir in outrage.  
  
"Now you've done it," said Merry frantically as Boromir got up as though to kill the hobbit.  
  
"Your blot is to climb the tallest tree in Lothlorien and bring a leaf from the tallest branch", yelled Frodo, as if to redirect the conversation.  
  
"Perhaps not the tallest tree, but a medium sized tree?", suggested Sam.  
  
"Very well then, Frodo, lead the way." Aragorn stood as he said that, convinced that the hobbit would burst out laughing and say "Gotcha!". He really was in no mood to go tree climbing.  
  
Frodo, not at all discouraged about this blot, led the group who had decided to come and watch to a medium sized oak, that though it was only 80 feet tall, the nearest branch was 10 feet up.  
  
"This one," he said firmly, his mind made up.  
  
Aragorn took a deep breath and regarded the tree carefully. He fought the urge to decline the blot, thinking that he'd never hear the end of it if he couldn't climb a damn tree.  
  
He moved to the base of the tree, unsheathing 2 of his many daggers, and dug them securely into the tree to get a grip. Once he felt he had a secure hold, he made his way to the first branch. Once he'd reached that, he returned his daggers to their many holsters and began climbing branches. He climbed from one to the next, each time breathing with relief as his feet were placed onto something solid.  
  
He'd climbed so high that the people on the ground hurt their necks to look at him, and then the unthinkable happened.  
  
A bird, thinking that Aragorn had come for her eggs which were settled on a branch almost near the top, attacked him. He lost his footing, and with a great yell, he began to plunge to the ground.  
  
As he fell, he looked to the ground to see Merry and Pippin screaming, Sam and Frodo yelling and trying to get under him as though trying to catch him, the girls standing in a circle watching with open mouths, as though paralyzed and the dwarf, man, and elf pushing the hobbits away to catch him themselves.  
  
He approached the ground at an alarming speed and spun himself to look up, thinking that he wanted at least to have a face to be seen when he died. He gave up being caught and charged towards the ground with grim thoughts. Suddenly, there came not a padding of dirt under him as expected, but a creaking of bones as he fell onto Legolas, who in return fell on Boromir, and consequently lost his footing to fall on the dwarf.  
  
Man, elf, and dwarf moaned in protest as Aragorn sat calmly on the squishy, soft elf. Muttering curses learned from the girls that he had begun to use frequently, Boromir heaved Legolas and Aragorn off and picked himself up, pausing long enough to glare at Frodo for the blot that he had provided.  
  
Frodo, seeing that he was going to be yelled at if he didn't leave, turned and faked a yawn, stretching upward saying "Well, I think it's time for bed... that's enough fun for one night" and walked back towards their bedrolls. Merry and Sam taking that as their cue, followed. Leaving Pippin who was staring wide-eyed at Gimli, who was getting up slowly, groaning as his back creaked. Merry quickly came back and grabbed Pippin, dragging him by the arm.  
  
The girls, also finding that they were suddenly exhausted, followed the Hobbits towards their beds. Giblet, though saying it quietly, could be heard saying "I don't remember that ever happening in the movie".  
  
Aragorn, looking at Boromir, went to aid the dwarf who simply brushed him away.  
  
"Thank You", he said, noticing the stillness.  
  
When no one answered, but merely stared, Aragorn flushed. Great, he thought, just what I need, more tension.  
  
Boromir, looking at Legolas, grabbed the elf by the shoulders and laughed.  
  
"I guess this is the payback I get for you saving me from the cliff in Moria? You felt you weren't heavy enough so you had to have Aragorn help you, eh?", he said, picking up on Renee's Canadian accent.  
  
A long moment later, a chuckle could be heard from the Dwarf and soon, everyone was laughing.  
  
"Come, we must rest our backs", mumbled Gimli, all the while muttering curses directed towards Hobbits and Girls. "I'll get them" was the final dark mutter as they all went and rested for the night in the safety of Lothlorien. 


End file.
